Later Date

late  [leyt]
1. occurring, coming, or being after the usual or proper time: late frosts; a late spring.
2. continued until after the usual time or hour; protracted: a late business meeting.
3. near or at the end of day or well into the night: a late hour.
4. belonging to the time just before the present moment; most recent: a late news bulletin.
5. immediately preceding the present one; former: the late attorney general.

Now, how is it that I mean I'm broken? Contrary to popular belief this is not merely because "I have been burned."

Yes, I've been burned. Some of you close to me know what I'm talking about, we've all got our backstories, and some of you just as close, some even closer, do not know what I'm talking about. We all have backstories, what's the need in dredging them up? It's not that I'm keeping anything from anyone, I just don't wave my past around like a flag.

But I am broken. Broken but functional. I don't feel things the way that I see people around me feel things. My emotions aren't stunted, that's not what I mean to get across. My emotions are just fine, but they don't have a trigger-happy effect like everyone else's seems to.

Now that was misleading. I don't mean to imply:
A) that everyone is a sobbing mess of emotions;
B) that I rarely feel emotion.

See, I feel emotion all the time. You put something snuggly in my arms or cute in my face and I'll melt. Something funny and surprising? I'll laugh. Emotions are already abstract concepts, defining how mine are different is a difficult task.

Bluh, maybe I'm just being crazy over nothing. I really think it's my contentedness, though, that I'm trying to express. I get into these nice calm moments when I don't feel the need to laugh. I recognize something as funny, but I don't have the need to laugh. It's all just very calm, not apathetic I wouldn't say, but calm.

I wanted this to be the end of the topic, but apparently it's not. I'll have to revisit this at a later date. I've heard that the medication I'm taking (and have been for years) can dampen emotions in a strange way. Maybe that's what's up.